We need to bring our girls to a point they know that despite the troubles they face, there is hope for their future. This is exactly what we did at Mukuru in September. I must begin by apologizing for delaying this blog since it was meant to be out a week after the first blog we did on the challenges facing the girlchild. I hear someone saying, you're forgiven! Thank you for this.
After training them about the challenges they were likely to expect as women/girls, I went ahead to share my story and then a few solutions to the issues that face a girl in a poverty-stricken environment.
I lived in Mukuru slums, lost a living, lost my money and at one time, I found that my gas and a few electronics had been stolen as I was away recording some music. I never knew where my rent would come from, and I struggled as a young lady. I was all alone in Nairobi and no one would listen to me when I needed help. I tried to call a few friends that I had, and they abhorred me due to my unending troubles with cash. It was as if I was chasing after money and the money was busy making me sweat with no sign of relief.
In 2012, this year will never be forgotten in my life. I had no friends I would look to on my phone book as they had all disappeared in thin air. I had grown s thin, that a mosquito had a larger hip bone than mine. I was depressed about life in the slums. As you well know, the slums have many people, but each minds their own business if they have. At that moment when the world I knew had turned against me, God opened various doors of opportunities, and I got my banking job back, my rent was paid in advance for three months and for the first time in over four months, I entered a salon to have my hair made.
I got an invitation to study outside the country and a job to help me prepare for my journey back in 2013. Today, I am of the opinion that God can help us when we allow him to help us. When you look at the challenges which seem like a mountain, you can easily become overwhelmed and wonder how much can be overcome. Some people can result in funny lives, as prostitutes or as housemaids or opt for early marriages.
When I looked around my area and saw the girls we grew up with and their lives, I lost hope in life and wondered what the meaning of life was. As my best friend became pregnant as a teen, I lost another one to leukaemia and the rest got married to some boys who had nothing, while some were employed as house-helps, I began thinking that I would never continue my studies as had always desired. However, I believed that God would visit me and like Esther, in his time beautify my devastated life. I prayed and turned my eyes away from my situation. I had known that my father was unable to give me an education beyond form four and was probably preparing to receive my dowry as I was already out of high school. But I had a dream to go to university and get a good job and be a lawyer and so forth. I kept my dream and I thank God that I am on the right path. I am not a lawyer yet but have made tremendous academic steps in this life. I can tell you that trusting in God changes the way we look at challenges in life. I knew that I was going to be a doctor in studies by putting God first. I face similar challenges like girls in the slum and elsewhere in life, but I perceive myself differently. Attitude is the next coin to your next level. You gotta have a positive attitude!
What are your current challenges?
What is your dream?
Once you answer those two questions, you are drawing closer to your real solutions.
First, you need to have your priorities right, you need to be mature before getting married, and you need to finish school before having sex with any man or boy.
You must then ask for skills that can help you to at least gain some income just in case the jobs take longer to come. For example, those who took the opportunity for business venture on face masks when Corona struck us, are laughing all the way to the bank. Some refused to be seen as ‘hawkers’ and they sleep hungry or look for attention by begging. You need to see life from a different perspective.
Your homework needs to be done in time to allow you to help with chores at home.
You need to live a clean life, if struggling with sanitary towels, you have the Hope Center and Aurora Bible Centre where you can pick these sanitary towels per month. Food and such challenges are at times inevitable. But what stories shall you give your children if you never struggled for food?
I had three dresses which had been given to me by a woman who was our family friend. I knew I was poor when I received those dresses. They were torn and bigger but that was all I owned. Years went by and my wardrobe was very lean. I had no bed of my own till I was a teenager, and my brothers would pull the blankets off from me, and I woke up either wet from my small brother who wet the bed, or from my elder brother who always managed to pull off the blankets to himself. I struggled to have all three meals a day as our school was 10 km away from home, and I would at times run for lunch only to find our dog yawning widely, no sign of smoke and my mother would be away working at our neighbour's farm for the evening meal.
I know that many would look at me and see a hopeless case. I wore my first shoe in class six to school. The rest of the time, I had to walk bare feet even on muddy days. Today I have a few pairs of all-weather. I have a few clothes at least and enough space in my bed to lay on all to myself. A Kikuyu is saying "having a meagre/bad meal today does not mean that tomorrow will be the same". This is to mean that your current struggles will not be forever.
In short, I have had my share of struggles that could have hindered me from achieving my dreams, but I refused to focus on them.
If you are facing a difficult struggle, do not lose heart since God has not lost hope in you. There is room for a new season as long as you are alive. See to it that your heart is not stuck to the past and that your energy is not spent on things that you have no control over. Focus on your tomorrow which is a greater one compared to your yesterday.
You are not confined in the slum, neither is your time limited by anyone unless God chooses to call you home. You have the advantage of time, and you can use it wisely.
We have counsellors who have offered their time for you and are available upon request so that you can speak to them in case of anything. Some challenges that you face are smaller if only you shared with someone willing to listen to you. Reach out to us for any sort of a chat you may be struggling to share with anyone else. If you were molested or bullied at school or home, you need to speak up. We have professionals who can help you overcome the feeling of helplessness and can assist you to find back your dignity or justice or both.
Speak to us on 0724766620 via Whatsapp or message or call us to book an appointment for such chats.
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