Raw reflections on the forty days of love
Forty days of love is a study drawn from the book by the name, ‘The relationship principles of Jesus’ by Tom Holladay. At Karura Community Chapel, we set out on this church-wide study of this book from September 2021 till October. That was a whole two-month journey in that we had a preparation week and a celebration week included in our time as a community.
The journey has been marked with not a few bumps which seemed like faulty days of love while the name for the path suggested otherwise. I had never been so ready for a walk in the park! But wait, that was some good daydream. I shocked myself when after reading, listening to the YouTube videos and Rev. Ngari’s weekly sermons I struggled the most to attain the symphony of standards that all of these avenues were suggesting. I hoped I was wrong to raise my expectations on myself yet Holladay was not relenting on promising a holiday ahead of me with every reading. I must say that this book has impacted the way I have always thought about my life as a Christian who is living in a fallen world.
If you have ever cried to God for revival in our nation, Kenya, this is the starting point. The journey through the greatest commandment of loving God and neighbour is not an easy one. For how can you love God whom you do not see if you can’t love your neighbour whom you see. Lord give me eyes to see my neighbour through your eyes! This has been my prayer so that I can quicken the revival we have all been waiting for. The blind eyes seeing, the lame walking, the world turning into a better place is probably what we have envisioned in the revival we have been asking for, manifesting the power of the Holy Spirit. However, Jesus said that the world shall know that we belong to him when we truly love one another! How is that for a revival! Holladay has journeyed me through the roughest love I ever knew. If he was around me, I could have asked many questions after reading a few of his thoughts in this book, but he has answered every one of them as I continued reading the book. I invite you to my own reflection and pray you shall be challenged by this book.
The wolves are really something I have had to reflect on. That we are sheep among the wolves is a comforting aspect to think about. The wolf might be a rule of the jungle, that could mean that being the good one, the rest could be out to finish me. In the readings that I did, there was this lady who was taking a flight and had some snacks (crisps and probably chips) and when she sat at the waiting lounge, her neighbour seemed to be dipping his hands inside the same box of snacks and eating from her reserves. This upset her but she didn’t want to cause an alarm, so she let that slip yet in her heart she was really worked up at how a grown-up could behave that way. At the point of departure, she realized that her bag of snacks was intact right under her seat, and all along she had been the one feeding on her neighbour’s snacks! If she had flared up at the man, she would have been greatly embarrassed since she was the one on the wrong. What is it that we could be doing that is wrong with us yet we carry the blame on others? The concept of you being a sheep and the rest being wolves, is it always true, or should we change our thinking and begin to search ourselves for ‘wolf-like characteristics’ and adjust accordingly! I don’t refute that there is one big wolf, who has his agents set to maul us, yet we need a soul-searching moment to verify who the real wolf could be.
Praying for our enemies is the cross we have to bear every day. Can you imagine what type of a burden I have had to bear by just thinking that I have an enemy who is my neighbour, relative, a fallen-out friendship and such? The thought of what caused the fall-out could still be painful at the moment. But how does Jesus expect me to pray for such a person really? Offence can be fresh as a wound from an accident for the longest time as long as the heavens and the earth remains. This is what makes it difficult for me to even think of praying for my enemies. In these forty days of love, it’s been rough! I have had to deal with so many fresh wounds. The magnitude of the offences could have been more than the bomb that was used to flatten the Times Towers in New York. It was as if God was testing me for what I had heard and what I was about to read! I felt like taking a flight to the Taliban’s Land to ask for a similar bomb to blast my perceived enemies for what my emotions felt they had gone through.
Then came the detonator, the Ancient Word, ever true. It felt like I was abruptly disrupted from my operations. And all I had planned to do crumbled and crushed right on my arms! What a moment of embarrassment, with the tickets to Taliban-Land all cancelled and mission omitted! I can never revenge, my arms are tied, my eternity is at stake, I had to drop my weapons! I had a rough weekend, and my face was down after a family quarrel that was ugly and I felt my people owed me an apology.
Then came my Tuesday evening meeting with my CLG (cell group) when I had to act right and as if nothing had happened, but having read about confessing our sins to one another, I had to tell them how I was struggling with this heavy issue. As I continued my readings, I came across the verse that asks us if we only love those who love us and greet only those who greet us, what difference do we have with unbelievers? That got me thinking, and still, that my kinsmen were unbelievers made the point too strong for me. So I had to bring my heart to the point of writing a message that I had forgiven them, and I was sorry for taking the offence. It took the strength of a crane lifting a container from the ship of Tarshish to Mombasa Harbor to write the first letter in the text, but I did it. I sat with the right intentions to write the message for a whole three days, and my cousin who is a pastor, kept asking if I had done the honourable thing, to write these guys a message of forgiveness for my heart to be free. This was the toughest thing I have had to do in the recent past. Yes, I am forever free, and I bless the Lord for such a priceless book that has sorted my life for good! (https://youtu.be/i82MIFZpHCU?list=PLN4fH0hz22aBpxP4_zkCLsF-ghMyRLEgc)
The plank and the spec is something that helped me to reflect on my personal life in a deeper way. I need to first sort my issues and my past included before I can come to help another person. In real life, I wear glasses to enable me to see clearly as I was diagnosed with short-sightedness while I was ten years old. I have to clearly clean these glasses if I am to see what’s in front of me. I have had incidences where I was on the farm planting seeds or digging, and just a granule of soil accidentally made its way inside my eyes. I couldn’t continue with any work, my other eye which has no soil becomes teary and red. By the time I am getting help, both eyes can’t see and my efforts are ruined for the next half hour. This experience has taught me that I can’t supposedly see anything before I sort the issues I am having with my sight; how can I possibly see anything else. The Bible goes on to say that my neighbour has only such a small problem as am having, yet I have a plank. I can’t even imagine how a plank should feel if at all a granule of soil felt that intense! In short, I have to first sort my own life before looking to judge others. This lesson got me thinking about how often I have been caught up thinking that others were my problem and I judged them, yet in the real sense I was the problem! I have needed forgiveness as I studied the forty days of love. It has really seemed a faulty rough period to reset my life back to the original setting.
Forgiveness is a Christian discipline and according to my needs to be added amongst the few disciplines that are famous, for example; prayer and fasting! There are various disciplines in the Christian faith that have been popular and we learn that in our Christian Religious Education (CRE) classes in Kenya. However, forgiveness has not been listed among the disciplines if my memory serves me right. Having gone through this book, as a person who is interested in our education system, I believe that Forgiveness should be included as part of the disciplines. Our hearts are fragile in many ways and can easily be broken by things happening around us, which has been the major cause of depression. However, if we teach our children the concept of letting go, we shall have a healthy community that doesn’t wait for an opportunity to blow upon others we deem as enemies. The most amazing thing about forgiveness as has been propagated in this book is that I don’t have to go back to that relationship in the same way as we were before. I am able to numb any painful memories whenever I remember the persons involved in hurting my emotions. I let God do the necessary thing of avenging for me because he well knows and understands my pain and promises to avenge me.
Having enemies should therefore be a foreign concept for any Christian because the Bible seems to advocate against having and retaining enemies. Consequently, when you forgive and love the enemy, you remain with no enemy at all! The real enemy is the devil and that one is God’s enemy too. I used to oscillate between having enemies and friends. After this study, I have no enemies anymore, I just have people in need, and what I normally do to people who are in need is to either help them where I can or pray for them.
When I looked at the characteristics of enduring love, I discovered that love always protects, always trusts always hopes and always perseveres. These are virtues that I need to pursue on this journey in order to attain perfection. We are to be perfect just as our Heavenly Father is, and God is love. Oh, the growth I still have to attain into maturity! God, please help me to imitate you, carry your yoke for it is lighter and learn from you. Amen.
In conclusion, I recommend this book to our schools, Bible Schools and communities who have been hurt in the past and are continuing to be hurt. The book is a precious gem that has to reach every human being regardless of whether or not they believe in Jesus. These relationship principles need to be taught and practised through and through. Much thanks to our church leadership team for this book and to the author; I now have a book to keep me in check on the areas that I needed to change in order for me to experience revival.
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