When we look at our society, we are becoming more and more individualistic and private. This comes with its own complexities as we have testified in the recent past whereby we have private weddings, private burials, private properties and so forth. You also get to hear of secret societies and underground religions among other private operations. While some are good and for the right cause, most have been known to be harmful to the people around us.
Take, for example, drug dealings which have been private business yet it is illegal in Kenya. Drugs are coded and only a few know when, how, what and where of the commodity. Cash is for the few privileged but hard work is for the many who earn so little. Treasures are surely hidden in the darkness but darkness can really be treasured by the wicked.
The few people who have had to spoil the children of the poor are making millions of monies. When children result in burning schools, you wonder whether it is over-consumption or denial/deprivation of drugs that have been made locally available to the children when they have been away from school. Cocaine, heroin, butter, bhang and other types of drugs are always made available to students by very innocent sources. We no longer have a sober society, but it has to be under some influence, either alcohol or other types of drugs. The funny thing is that you hardly see or notice the young people taking the drugs, yet you notice the impact of the use of drugs or the withdrawal syndrome.
How do you act when you realize that your child is into drugs, homosexuality or some funny behaviours that are not generally accepted by our society? I remember one parent did not want to imagine that their 21-year-old son was into a full-blown homosexual relationship for the past nine years. It came as a shocker to her. I used to notice some photos of this boy posting his partner (boy) and he would put love hearts and write fondly of him in a way that began putting question marks in my subconscious mind. At one point, I brought the mother to the attention of the photo which the son had even written things to do with husband, sweetheart and such language on the same boy he had been posting on his status for over a year. When I showed the mother, she was shocked and began saying that indeed something was not adding up.
In addition to all that, the boy called his mother and told her that he wanted to shift for good and move in with the love of his life who was a fellow man! His mother could not believe her ears. She told him to wait for her to arrive before leaving, and after calling me and another pastor, she gained some courage to go to meet her son. The boy had packed everything and had even made supper for his family as the last supper. When we got to their home, it was not possible to discuss from the home, and we moved to another family that could have allowed for the kind of privacy we needed to have.
The story began to unfold by the mother asking if indeed what the boy had told her over the phone and what she had read from the status was the truth. The mother was shaking like a leaf in the wind in anger, denial and disbelief. She cried until she fainted after hearing the truth of the whole matter that her son had been in several gay relationships since the age of 11. She began saying that she was going to kill him and forget that she ever had a son and that she would disown him.
But the guy was already decided that he was going that path. It was a tough night for me as well as I watched and listened helplessly. We did not manage to convince the gangster to leave his ways but I walked the mother on the journey of accepting the truth. It was not a smooth one seeing that she had struggled to raise cash for school fees single-handed, and had paid one-year college fees where the boy decided to drop out and go get "married" to the man. Eish, I felt like slapping the hell out of the boy, but I had been composed as a counsellor. The bitter part of the whole ordeal is that he was receiving cash for 'upkeep' from his 'husbae'. Maan! I am still emotional three years down the line. Sobbing for the pain I saw the mother go through.
But now, how do you prepare for your child’s secret sin, and are you ready to discover who they have turned out to be? Are you ready to hear that your child was the one that has been supplying the cocaine that drove the guy who torched the school your son/daughter attends? Maybe the earlier we call ourselves for these meetings in the twilight and discuss what we didn't do right or where we dropped the ball, we shall be a better society.
Maybe we need some secret dinner in Naivas near Naivasssa or Mwambatha where we shall open up the can of worms and let those igagus (grown worms) out and kill them, and be free from secrecy. Secrets shall destroy us...we know so and so's son or daughter spends their whole midterm at an awkward place but since we mind our own business nowadays, we won't say a thing to their mother who we compete on which make of car is the latest and which holiday destination is next. We probably are fighting with our baby daddy's and your illegal husbands at your children's hearing. So, who can counsel who! Decadence is an understatement.
Are you ready to be there for them and redirect them to the right path? Are you ready to rehabilitate your teenager if you know they are in very dangerous behaviours? If at all your child has been disciplined from the home, chances are lean that they will be corrupted at high school. However, if they had picked up a secret habit quite early in life, high school or college only polishes those behaviours.
These are the days for parents to be ready to hear that their Mary-mother-of-god have a pregnancy from the watchman or the cook at high school, or their closest cousin. Or that Joseph-of-Potiphar’s day has impregnated the wife of our president, the plumber or the shamba boy has been helping himself with the wife of the house, and actually the last born son of the house resembles the long-employed gate-man of that home. It is rough and tough. Small children have been highly drugged and sexualized such that they no longer know the difference between their grandmother and their age mates in terms of marriage.
When we spot drugs and bad behaviour, we must speak against them without fear or favour. When our children are in the wrong, we must be ready to stand up and correct them immediately. A golden rule is; a public mistake must be corrected publicly especially with our children because they have a way of misbehaving in public to avoid discipline.
Lastly, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and when we reject God, we become fools of our own wisdom. We make fun of God; he will make fun of us! Wh ich secret do you have at home that has hindered your marriage from moving to the next level, or which secret do you hide from your children that might cause them to lose a lot of investments should you die of an instant accident? Which secrets are you keeping to spoil someone else's child in future as you peddle illegal stuff on them, or to them?
Come clear and gain your freedom, and restore dignity to your generation. There is a certain age that children get, they do not do as you say, they do what you do. As they are young, you can play and prey around, but once they become of age, they can no longer listen because they have eyes and vision.
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